Just as I woke this morning a thought for a new post came to me because of a Beth Moore book I am reading. Even before my morning stretch and prayer for God to grant me wisdom sufficient for today, which I always (try to) do. Then my beautiful rescue Lily put her head under my hand for an ear scratch and to let me know she wanted to go for her pre-dawn walk. So I got up, dressed, brushed my teeth, the whole drill, bundled to face the 17-degree air chill and we set off. Our walk was longer this morning, so quiet, nothing but the shadowy crescent moon and stars and I think it is Venus now in the eastern sky. Anyway, we came back in, I fed Lily, fed the birds and in the process scared off the deer that routinely eat the birdseed during winter which I don’t mind because they can’t find much else this time of year. I checked on Murphy, my other little rescue still bundled up in the bed, then made my own breakfast.
So all of this is to say that when I sat down and actually remembered I had something to write about, I forgot it.
Which is the pointless aim of all this rambling. I sound like I do sometimes when my son calls, only I don’t think I will have much to say to him for a while because I am angry with him. His birthday was Friday. He doesn’t need anything, whenever I ask what he wants he says “nothing”, which is true because like most people these days if he wants something he goes out and gets it. So I sent a dumb I-hope-you-think-this-is-funny present. When I called to wish him happy birthday (which I won’t do again because I woke him and his girlfriend and I hate when I do that. Ick.) he claimed he did not receive it, which would be the very first time something I sent him was not received. So I checked the tracking number. Delivered. Do I believe him? Or do I paranoically decide he hates these stupid things and just threw it away? Couldn’t he at least have opened it before so he could pretend he thought it was funny? If in fact my premise is correct and he did toss the thing.
I think I am obsessing about this too much and need to detach. This book I am reading on overcoming insecurity… maybe I better read it again.