I am a clutter queen.

In my last move I listed my house “For Sale By Owner (FSBO)”. I cleaned out pots, pans, clothes, shoes, stuff I’d collected over the years positive I’d need it “someday” which never came, dog toys, kitchen gadgets,towels, beach stuff, even furniture. Then I cleaned stuff out again when I decided not to list my house myself and put everything back.

And again when I listed with a realtor.

Somehow I realized after only living in this next house for two years I still have too much stuff. So I am going through everything again. I had no idea how much wrapping paper, bows, boxes, ribbons, tape, little to-from gift cards, gift bags and decorations I had. So now it’s all been gone through and reorganized. And some of it disposed of.

I have clothes that I wore when I worked but have not worn in more than 10 years. Suits, blouses, shoes (again, and I don’t have that female inclination), dresses, jackets, at least five overcoats. So I found a place to donate these for people trying to get back into the workforce, or just need to stay warm.

Going through the bathrooms I found I have a 3-year supply of toilet tissue (how can you hide an 18-roll jumbo pack of Charmin??), eleven nail clippers (you can never have too many of those), and enough shampoo and conditioner of all sorts to keep a girls’ volley ball team’s hair clean for a year.

I found holiday platters I have not used in years, little fingertip towels on those circle holders on stands I never use, vases, suitcases, earmuffs still in their original packaging.

There must have been an incredible sale on dish soaps and dishwasher soaps because I probably won’t live long enough to use all of it. I counted 19 rolls of Viva paper towels, and that’s what I found the first time through.

For a while I thought collecting unusual baskets and copper tea kettles and chafing dishes was cool to put on top of the cabinetry in the kitchen. The dust is so thick on them now I can’t use them so I’ll try to find a way to clean them (maybe take them in the backyard and turn the hose on them).

I found even in my bookcases several comprehensive volumes of Shakespeare’s works, Mark Twain’s and Oscar Wilde. Probably only need one of those. Then there were those years I thought I’d use herbs for everything, so out went the herb remedy books (thankfully nobody died), and the Good for You/Bad for You food books, all of which are more than 15 years old. Surely there are differing opinions on this by now. Medical people are constantly switching sides for whether eggs are good and if margarine will truly kill you.

I prefer butter anyway.

So you’d think I’d have all this new found space in my house. Not so. I don’t know where all these things are coming from but the closets, cupboards, pantry and garage are still chock-full. I know someone who swears that her towels multiply all by themselves in the linen closet.

Don’t think that’d be true for those nail clippers though…