Life is tenuous.

Death is part of life.

She is no longer suffering.

We will see our loved ones again.

I have heard these things all my life yet death never steals another person that I don’t doubt those words. I am maybe too literal, or too caught up in the here and now, but death is always surreal.

Or maybe it’s just frustrated anger.

I know it happens. I just don’t ever expect it to.

John Donne was right: “Any man’s death diminishes me,  because I am involved in mankind….”

You hear those stories about people in terrible accidents or illnesses who have gone, seen light, been in a tunnel and have come back. My own father had such an experience.

The late Rev. Billy Graham spoke of a dream he had more than once after his wife Ruth had passed away where he stood on the bank of a river and could see Ruth standing on the other side, and this gave him hope that he would join her someday. I like to believe he has.

But I know the strength of a dream, the convincing hoax of illusion so I am too skeptical.

Still, this person I never knew who played something of a role in my son’s splintered life is gone. I have to believe she is now whole again, now not suffering but filled with unimaginable, unfathomable joy at seeing her precious Savior.

Thank you to those who read my earlier post, or spoke about it or prayed for her.

You are those who keep hope alive.


“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm: for love is as strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame.”  Song of Solomon 8:6

7 thoughts on “Sad

  1. In July 2013, my stepmom passed from cancer. I watched her suffer for 18 mos before finally succumbing. It was her 3rd & final battle with the C-Monster. I was in the room when she passed. My father was a mess and had asked for her to be brought back when she coded the first time. They complied and I heard the loudest “NO!” in my head…and it wasn’t me doing the shouting. She returned for a couple of minutes and, I felt this anger & powerful energy. I had trouble breathing. I began to tremble. She coded a second time, the docs looked @ my dad and he shook his head. They finally let her go. Then, I suddenly turned absolutely giddy. That strong energy was very, very happy to get the hell out of there.

    A couple hours later, a prayer group formed in a large waiting room. Her best friend led. I bowed my head & listened to her words. I saw my stepmom, walking away from me, in her uniform (she was parking enforcement with my hometown PD) that she loved. I was standing by a crystal clear river and she turned around to wave goodbye to me (we were on the same side of the river). She was smiling & very happy to go.

    I was very sad for my dad & stepsister but, my stepmom? She was fine and I felt her joy.

      • She had a bit of a tumultuous relationship with my dad. They were together for a while when I was in my 20s. They split for a few years then, my grandmother intervened & set both of them up. Heh. She didn’t live long enough to see them married but, she made sure they knew they were made for each other.

        I wasn’t fond of her in my 20s but, that was on me. We were only 13 years apart. As I aged, we grew closer. She was patient and was very good to me. It was awful watching her fade so young. She was only 61.

        Thank you for reading.

  2. When my father was dying, I had fallen asleep with my head on the bed railing, holding his hand. I felt someone put an arm around my shoulders and I woke up. No one was there, just me and Poppa. But I knew it had been my sister, who had passed many years earlier, who had hugged me. When he passed, I clearly saw him – holding Betty’s hand and dancing. it’s not the end, it’s the the next part of the journey.

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